24 days and counting

C and i had a nice conversation tonight. we broached a subject that both of us had been avoiding. before he moved, he said that sometimes people have to make sacrifices, and at that time, i was unwilling to sacrifice. i had just gotten a teaching job and had taken over the drama club and had everything i wanted in my career. and i was scared to death to say i would move to be with him. i was a total commitmentphobic and was afraid that he could potentially be "the one." i didn't want "the one" to be moving to the other side of the continent. and i was adament that i not be the reason for him to move home. what if it didnt work out? then he would resent me and the relationship would be destroyed.

it was a subject we had avoided talking about for two months. it was as if neither of us wanted to bring it up for fear of what the other would say. tonight, it got brought up in some roundabout way. i told him that sometimes compromise has to be made, and now i was willing to consider that. he said he had even talked to his mom about it, telling her that i would tell him either move home or hit the road. that isnt the case anymore with me. as difficult as it would be to move and leave my family, friends, and job, i think i would be willing to do it, as long as i had him by my side. he was surprised at that, but was glad to hear it, and that it almost puts the whole situation in a new perspective. we are going to have so much fun while i am out there, but i know i am going to have a hard time leaving him. he should be finding out soon where he is being relocated to. best case scenario: he will be two hours away, and i could do that drive in my sleep. worst case? apparently alaska. yeah, that would suck. but we will cross that bridge when the time comes. there has always been this something extra with him. and now i feel it more than ever.