If I could tell you...

You walked into my life at a time when I had noone. I laid eyes on you and thought, "Woah, this dude is in to ME?" That is how attracted I was to you. We had a drink, I invited you in. Perhaps it was a mistake, moving so soon on the first date. But you only live once, right? You came back later and we finished what we started. I was worried it was going to be just sex. But you proved me wrong by coming to visit me at the event I was working that night. And you called just to say good night. And you came to see me at my softball game the next day. I thought you were going to be different. You had lived an interesting life and had so many stories. You kept me laughing, even if we were broke and eating butter pecan ice cream out of the container. I was willing to take a few steps back until you were ready for a real relationship. You fed me the lines about needing time because you were starting a new job. Well you know what? I wanted nothing more than to stand by you and be there for you when things got shitty. I was willing to go that extra mile for you. It didn't even bother me that you didn't want to go to a wedding with me, because you "weren't ready" for that step. And then...*poof*...you were gone. Just like that. No return call, no email, nothing. I was crushed. I had opened myself up in a way I hadn't done in over a year. I thought I felt a connection. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe for you it was just the sex. And, let me tell you, it was fucking fabulous. You will agree on that I am sure. You made me feel like more of a woman than any man ever has. More desired, more WANTED than I have ever felt before. For me it was more than that. It just pisses me off sometimes. What did I do to push you away? Why weren't you man enough to tell me the truth? If it was another woman or you just wanted out, I could have dealt with it. This uncertainty is bullshit. And tonight, what do I come home to? I random message from you. What the fuck? I can't crash and burn again.